The Mirror On The Wall: Chapter 4

Chapter Four
Shalizar pushed the door open, tail twitching. It was his job to guide us, since I had never left my room.

“Follow me,” he said, and slipped into the hallway beyond. I followed unsteadily, unsure of my new limbs.

The hallway was well-lit by torches and empty. Shalizar looked at me. “Where are we going?”

“To find a girl named Snow White.”

Shalizar’s left eye widened skeptically − the cat equivalent of raising an eyebrow. “Her?”

“I know she’s creepy. But you saw the Hunter! I am the reason he’s after her and I don’t like having a guilty conscience.”

Shalizar shrugged. “The Hunter’s all right. He paid me a lot of tuna after I killed a rat for him once.”

“Why wouldn’t he kill it himself?”

“He’s afraid of them. I find them quite tasty. Rats are nothing to fear.”

I grinned. “Then let’s find some rats as soon as we get to Snow White.”

Shalizar looked at me for a long, long moment. “You have absolutely no plan, do you?”

“Nope, no plan. I’m making it up as I go.”

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Shalizar led us through six corridors, down two flights of stairs, and up another flight. Then we went in one end of a storage closet, out the other, and through three more corridors. I was beginning to get dizzy. And my legs hurt. I wasn’t used to walking this much!

Scratch that, I wasn’t used to walking at all. And Shalizar was bounding along like there was a fire at his tail. I could barely keep up.

We stopped for a break. I rubbed my aching legs and Shalizar licked some nonexistent dust off his spotless paws.

“You have absolutely no idea where we’re going, do you?” I snapped as I leaned against the wall.

“Of course I know,” Shalizar said unconcernedly. “But we can’t just walk out the front gate. I am going o take us through the servants’ quarters and out a secret entrance. Or exit, as the case may be.”

“Isn’t there a faster way?”

“No.” Shalizar rose, shook out his bushy tail, and resumed walking. Fuming, I followed him.

It was at the bottom of the fourth set of stairs that we ran into trouble.

The Mirror On The Wall: Chapter 3

Chapter Three
Oh no! The Hunter!

No, wait. You've lost me. Who's the Hunter?

That's one problem with being a mirror. You never get a chance to get out and meet people. The only living things I know are the Queen, and her cat Shalizar.

Shalizar is actually not bad for a witch's cat. He has piercing green eyes and medium long shiny black fur. He is an excellent conversationalist, if you speak cat. And if he's in the mood to talk, which is not often.

The door opened and a very, very, very scary man slipped in like a shadow.

He was dressed in multiple shades of dark olive green, and his stature was average. He had filed teeth, sharp and pointed, and his eyes were a strange pale blue. Somehow he had split the tip of his tongue, making it forked like a snake's. He had no hair on his head.

Shalizar slipped in behind the Hunter as the latter bowed low to the Queen. The former jumped onto a table and stared hungrily around the room.

The Queen turned to the Hunter. "We have been displeased by someone. Find them and bring their heart to us!"
"Tell me who it is and they will die," the Hunter said in a husky voice. He sounded like he would cry at any moment, but the guy was probably a crocodile at heart. Any tears he wept would be false.

"It is a girl in our palace. Her name is Snow White!"

"She will be dead by the time the week is over."

Since it was only Monday, the guy was clearly not a very efficient assassin. The Queen seemed satisfied by this reply, though, and nodded. "Good. Set off at once!"

And the Hunter was gone. He was quieter than Shalizar!

The Queen touched Shalizar's head lightly and smiled. "I am the only one allowed to be fair," she chuckled, and swept out of the room.

Okay, not my plan. Sarcastic and rude I may be, but I am not a murderer. I had to save Snow White! I saw Shalizar walking unconcernedly through a maze of delicate potion bottles on a high shelf. "Hey! Shalizar!" I hissed, in Cat.

He stopped and looked at me. "Quentin!" he said, as if surprised.

"Uh huh. Me. Can you get me the fourth mauve potion on the left? The one marked Sselnoitom eht ot Noitom?"

"What?"

"Sselnoitom eht ot Noiton!"

"Gesundheit."

"Just get me the mauve potion from the left, Shalizar!" I snapped.

Shalizar's black paw hovered tauntingly over the bottle I watned. "This one?"

"Yes. Pour it over me, will you?"

"Mm...what will you give me?" He knocked the bottle slightly. It teetered dangerously.

"Uh...I don't know?" What was I supposed to give a cat?

"This bottle gives motion to the motionless," Shalizar meowed. His emerald eyes flashed a little. "You're going to run away if I give this to you. Well, I want to come."

"Why?" A lifetime of working with a witch leaves you a little suspicious. Can you blame me?

"I'm bored."

An evasive answer. Typical Shalizar. "Okay, you can come. Just pour it over me!"

Shalizar picked the bottle up in his teeth and sauntered to the end of the shelf closest to me. He set down the bottle I wanted, popped the cork with his fangs, and tipped it over me.

The liquid flowed across my glass, colder than anything I had ever felt before. Cold, and painful, and dizzying. I felt my frame bulging. Strangely it itched. I had never felt itching before. But it itched now, and I had no hands to scratch. Was this how I would gain motion?

Spindly arms and legs sprouted from my frame. Arms! Legs! This was terrific! Now I could pick things up! Walk! Run! Jump!

Yeah, I know, I know, you do that all the time. I'm a mirror, okay?

I lifted up on my hook and landed awkwardly on the knotted wooden floor. Shalizar touched down gracefully next to me. I glared at him. What a show-off.

We were a mirror and a cat, off to rescue the creepiest girl on the planet.

Not your typical fairy-tale, huh?

The Mirror On The Wall: Chapter 2

Chapter Two
The Queen swept into the room. Her midnight-purple cloak had a high collar, framing her elegant yet cruel features perfectly. I yawned.

“Hello, Quentin,” she said. Then she did this strange little flailing dance with her arms and chanted ominously. I think it was supposed to open the prophetic channels so I could see that she was the fairest or something. Or maybe it was just this witchy thing she did, because she was a witch. It didn’t actually do anything, so I don’t know why she even bothered. I don’t use any gift of prophecy when she asks me the “Mirror, mirror” question. I just tell her what she wants to hear.

In fact, I don’t even have prophetic abilities. Maybe if I were a huge fancy mirror, one of those that cost hundreds of dollars, I would. But when you are a smallish oval mirror with a plain birch frame that the Queen got at Goodwill for three bucks, you don’t get a lot of powers. All I do is talk. In an extremely blunt and opinionated way.

Back to the Queen. Once she was finished flailing, she stretched her hand out to me. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”

There’s that question again! I hate that question! Well, this was my chance to get even. I answered the Queen, “Oh, Queen, you are very fair, but there is one who is fairer still.”

She was shocked. She glared at the inanimate objects in the room. Most of them mystified me, like the white feathers everywhere, but the purpose of one certain glass disk was perfectly clear. It was a lie detector, enchanted to turn a certain color if a person was lying or not lying. I am not a person. I am a mirror. Lie detectors do not bother me. The Queen glared back at me. “We must know the name of this fairest one!”

These mystic little rituals really got on my nerves. Not that I had nerves, being a mirror, but you get my point. Time to mix it up a little.

“Her name’s Snow White. She’s beautiful. Way more beautiful than you are. And she lives in your palace, in fact. Never noticed her? You probably wouldn’t. But anyways, she is a serving girl.”
The Queen’s face was going through an interesting spectrum of emotions: first surprise, then anger, then finally hatred. Her jaw was set as she waved a dismissive hand at me. If that was supposed to turn me off, it didn’t work. I don’t think I have an off button. I went silent anyways. My work was finished.

The Queen spoke into a shriveled Thing. I don’t think you want to know what it used to be. Now it was an intercom system through the palace. “Bring us the Hunter,” she said.

The Mirror On The Wall: Chapter 1

THE MIRROR ON THE WALL
A retelling of Snow White
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Chapter One
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” I jeered in a mocking tone, after the Queen had left the room. “I am sick and tired of her asking me that! I’d like to hang her on the wall and ask her something like that every single day! Boy does she have some major insecurities!”

I hung there in general anger and muttered, “This is it. I’m done just telling her what she wants to here. Next time, I’ll tell her that that servant girl, Snow White, is the fairest one of all!

"Of course, there are a few holes in that story,” I mused. “Like the fact that Snow White isn’t beautiful.”

In the middle of my sentence a girl armed with a feather duster entered. She was probably intending to dust the Queen’s many creepy magical objects. Hearing my voice, she looked for the source and saw a mirror with a face - me. She screamed and dropped her duster.

“What? Never seen a talking mirror before?” I asked her sarcastically. “You must be new here.”
She screamed again and fled the room. I lifted up on my hook in the mirror equivalent of a shrug and continued my aggrieved monologue.

"I mean, skin white as snow? Add black hair and red lips and you have the creepiest human I’ve ever seen! The girl’s only redeeming feature is that she’s nice. Ugly, but nice. She’s the polar opposite of the Queen, who is beautiful but cruel.

“Maybe Snow would look better if she mixed up her wardrobe. Her dress looks like a paintbox exploded! Seriously! Blue skirt, yellow bodice, red cape - and those weird red ovals on the puffed sleeves! It’s hideous!” I shook my head - well, I wiggled on my hook. “Pff. How the Queen would ever believe that Snow White was the fairest of them all is beyond me. Still, it’s worth a shot."

And that was the way the whole crazy adventure started. With one really, really bad lie.

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